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    December 10

    那一个女子

          看到报道,在心理卫生学院留医28天的许美静,经医生诊断是患上了精神分裂症。
         心底有一丝异样的感觉,谈不上难过或是什么,却有轻轻的折断声。一个迷离,颓废,永远带着淡淡忧伤的女子,竟然会这样离开我们的视线。
         下午一直在听她的《挽歌》,忽然很想去理解这样一个站在人群背后的女子。她的世界,也许只有她自己才有资格书写或者涂抹吧……
         “蓬乱的发,淡的妆,极浅的眼影,一脸淡然和不信任,甚至冷漠,似乎永远都无关悲喜,其实并不美丽,却说不出的为她心动,无论是面孔也好,声音也好,总是淡淡颓废着,面孔的淡是不多不少恰好的淡----多一点就变成堕落,少一点就丧失了秘密,声音的颓废则是属于秋天的,一阵风过,有些凉,又不至于太冷,梧桐树率先落下第一片叶子,悠悠荡荡的,人也就有些落寞,……”他的歌迷这样形容。
         这样黑色的气质,是我所羡慕的。
         不记得是什么时候第一次知道她,只记得是那首《都是夜归人》,冷艳的她在深夜的街角独行,有人形容那是一种“震撼”,我不知是不是,但心里确实是有悸动的。总觉得这是一个特别的人,虽然那时的我年纪还小,不一定懂的那歌的内涵。从那时起,心里是有了这样一个名字—许美静。很多年过去了,我最喜欢的歌手并不是她,然而,心里那个名字却始终在,初识她时她的气质,他的特别,那种感觉一直都在。
         晚上去百度贴吧,看着她的歌迷为她写的文字,又觉得自己的想法真的是有点肤浅了。他们写得很美,写得让人感动。他们是爱她的,所以写出来的文字包含的是无数无数的爱意与怜惜。忽然觉得这样的一个女子竟然也是如此的幸福,有那么多人爱着她疼着她,为她的心痛而难过,为她的受伤而祝祷……即使是这样一个时刻,我想,我仍然羡慕。
         那一个女子,静静走过,人群背后,她独自啜饮。祝福这样一个女子,希望她能够得到想要的幸福……  

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    Titta-Jillwrote:
    我们应该庆幸,失去了所有都不可惜---就怕失去的是自我……
    Dec. 10

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